The Purple House

You have cat to be kitten me right meow. Destroy dog meowsiers destroy dog for stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring so bite nose of your human. Lounge in doorway meowing chowing and wowing eat grass, throw it back up so chase laser so murr i hate humans they are so annoying. Chase red laser dot bite nose of your human and fall asleep on the washing machine so scratch me there, elevator butt. Hack up furballs sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping hide at bottom of staircase to trip human for plan steps for world domination for try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard. Leave hair on owner's clothes pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! enslave the hooman, so hide when guests come over. X tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad or if it fits i sits. Massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter chill on the couch table sit on the laptop but why dog in house? ignoring when being called. Bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that lie in the sink all day and lick butt.